Why?

Why do I always get this looming feeling before finals start, that I'll die before they begin? It happens every year... Is dying easy? Why am I so shy, yet I always seek attention? Why must I do everything alone? Why can't anyone understand me? Why am I so weird? If I wanted to kill myself, could I go through with it? Why is there a poster of Orlando Bloom still on my wall? Why do I pretend to certain things? Why was I born? What is my destiny? What if I have no destiny? Why do I think it's weird every time a friend tells me they never want to get married? Why can't I let go? How can I be so bad at certain things (like violin and acting) yet I keep trying? Why am I always so uncomfortable? Why do I feel like everyone hates me, or finds me annoying, or an inconvenience?

Why should I care?