It's a cursed month, cursed by he-who-must-not-be-named (and I am not referring to a Harry Potter character here...) How do I describe this curse? Well, I guess it's like "that time of the month" except this time it's "that time of the year." If I could, I would erase September forever. Today marks that day when the whole drama started, somewhere around 7 or 8 pm to be exact (I hate my stupid excellent memory). I've wished, even regretted, this memory many times, hoping that I could go back and change it. Even though I gave myself a brief "happiness" for about 2 years, it still doesn't change the cursed unhappiness that hits me every time September rolls around, year after year. And is 2 years even worth it? I’m going to live, hopefully, for a very long time, and 2 years is just one little blip in my life, just one episode. I've heard all kinds of advice, ranging from "don't have regrets" to "don't be angry at him" but how can be anything but regretful, sad, and angry? This September is a lot different, mainly because I don't have the comfort of familiar friends to distract me from this annual curse. Everyone’s in a different part of the world now, and the new friends I'm making don't know anything of the thing that bothers me, which has left me many sleepless nights. Perhaps I should keep them in the dark? Maybe if I just stop thinking about it, stop dwelling on it, then it's as if it never happened? I know I can't change the past, but there are things that I have repressed before. If only I could willingly repress whatever events I wanted, I think things would be easier to deal with, and maybe I'd be an inch happier.
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